Race Update - what really happened

I was just reading back through my previous posts and realized I never did a follow-up post on my Race Day Guarantees .  I spent months training for it quitting once and being very discouraged most of the time.  But you know me...I just kept going.

So here's the answers to what I thought would happen and what really did.

1.  I thought I would twist my ankle
Well, I didn't twist my ankle, but I did fracture my hip and end up on crutches for 3 weeks.  The two weeks before the race my hip hurt so bad that I didn't do any running.  On race day, I drugged up on 800 Motrin and energy gel.  I managed to run the entire race except for parts of the last mile and a half, which you will see why below.

2. I will cry.
I did.  I knew I would, but it was just because I had ran through swirling winds that had just come off the lake as water spouts, hail, cold rain, cloud to ground lightening and thunder.  I'm terrified of storms, so the fact that I kept going in that weather through tree lined streets was a miracle upon the miracle of finishing with my hip.

3. I will walk.
I did.  Not for long, but between miles 11-13, when I was cold, soaked, tired and the pain was so intense in my hip I had to walk.  Luckily, the nature of motherhood was against me and every time I started walking, I peed a little. (I love my kids, I love my kids...) My choices were run or pee my pants.  I chose to run.

4.  I will look awful in all pictures.
 Oh my, this was never a truer statement.   I almost didn't write this post strictly for the reason of not wanting to show this picture.  I had known my face would look weird. I had known I wasn't wearing fashionable clothes, but just something to keep me warm. I don't think a winter coat would have kept me warm by the end.  Well, here it is:

Ouch.  It is still painful to look at this picture.

5. I will have regret.

I regret not listening to my body and backing out of the race.  I am so proud of what I accomplished, but I didn't get an official time. (Unofficial time was 2 hours, 22 minutes for 13.1 miles.)  I was in so much pain the days following.  I had been concerned about losing out on my $40 entry fee and instead I had to pay $65 for all doctor's visits, plus the nuisance of not being able to exercise for two months!

6.  There will be a blog post on my experience...

Um...yup. 

Here's the weather report from the day of the race:
Waterspouts and hail

It started out sunny and a bit chilly, but it was 8:00 in the morning.  Then as we ran through the woods, the clouds came rolling in.  We stepped out onto the road that leads to the lake, and saw the lightening out over the lake.  Then the winds picked up.  Have you ever been sand-blasted?!  Luckily, I haven't either, since the rain started before I hit the state park where we ran a loop around the parking lot before heading back out onto the main road for the the last five miles of the race.  It was as I hit the main road, they were announcing that they were calling the race.  I was just into mile 8 and I wanted my medal.  So I channeled my inner Forest and... I was running.  As I ran past tunnel park, the wind picked up, branches were laying across the path that had fallen and the hail kicked in.  It was later realized that the waterspouts were coming on shore at this very park the moment I was running past.  I did mention that I hate storms, right?  At this point I was scared out of my mind!  Shaking, running faster, yet it felt like I was going no where because of the strong winds.  The hail was like bees stings all over my body.  My shirt with the elastic waist had become a belly shirt.  Luckily I had a tank top on underneath.  I was miserable, but just when I thought of quitting, at mile 11, these angels were standing there, in full rain gear, still passing out water; still cheering us on.  They had been there the entire race, the entire storm!  Knowing they had roughed it out with us was what kept me going those last two miles.  I really don't even remember much of the rest of the race.  My only sadness was that the hubs didn't see me run at all.  He couldn't find me in the starting crowd and he was inside the building when I crossed the finish line.  My parent's were out there though and I sprinted to the finish line crying, not because of finishing, but because this brutal storm that came through, a storm that would normally have me hiding in the basement, I had ran through.  At the finish line it had become a slow drizzle.  I conquered more than a race that day.  I didn't let my fears stop me. (Although, I probably should have, now looking back at how severe the weather had been.)

All in all, I have been told I can't run long races anymore without risk of re-fracturing my hip.  Last week, I managed to run two and a half miles without stopping.  It felt like a major accomplishment.  I guess I'll stick to being a volunteer for the River Bank Run instead of training for the 15 miles in May like I had hoped.  Can't say, looking back on the Park2Park, that I'm all that sad about it. I can say I ran a 1/2 marathon.  I don't need to do it again.

A little bit of home

Hello, again!  We've now been in our home for 6 months.  In the first month, we did A LOT of changes.  Painted almost every room, made over the kitchen cabinets, new carpet throughout the entire upstairs, and new hardware for all the doors.  This house went from early 90's blah (which was weird since it was built in 2001) to a chic rustic cottage.  Here's some of our changes:

The changes outside were pretty simple - the shutters, vents and doors were painted a purple-y-blue.  We updated the home by painted the shutters a classic black, the vents white, and the doors a deep cranberry.

Before:

 After:

The kitchen and living room were a yellow/purple mix with light oak cabinets.  I found a method online for using a gel stain.  My dad and the hubs painted the kitchen and living room for me!  Those two projects alone were HUGE!

Before:

After:

Before: 

 After:

Well, not quite after...we had new grey shag carpeting put in and hung some pictures... Stay tuned for more do it yourself home decor.

I'll do a blog post soon on the steps of re-staining the cupboards, Christmas at the Takens, and a few more rooms we've redone, as well as some minor crafts such as the vintage metal cupboard re-do, the pallet clock, and making your own artwork.  

See you again soon! 

Here, fishy, fishy...

So what do you make for the outdoorsman who has everything?  Why not make the fish of all fish stories?! This one is bound to stay on the line!

I had a blast planning out and making this fish.  I used the scraps from the leftover hat and mittens sweater upcycle I worked on earlier today.  If you don't want to make your own...let me give a shout out to the creator of this awesome idea, MimiKirchner.  You can visit her Etsy shop and buy one of your very own!

Let's get started.

1.  Cut the body of the fish - I used the neckline of the sweater to add a little more detail to the head area.  I don't really like how it turned out since the neck is not as stretchy or mold-able as the rest of the fish. (You'll see in the finished product.)

 2.  If you have a cuff left, use that to create the tail.  I used the bottom of the sweater and just folded it in half and sewed up the side.  I also sewed across the top.

3.  Make a box pleat by taking the center of the two sides and tacking them together in the middle, then laying the two flaps flat again.

4.  Next make the fins.  You'll want a long one on the top, a boxy one towards the back on the bottom, and two smaller triangle shapes towards the front where the gills would be.  I stitched between each valley to create more dimension on the fish.

5.  Because I wanted to keep the neckline showing I sewed the 'gill' fins right to the outside of the sweater instead of where the head and body meet.  

6.  I forgot to take a picture but sew the head and body together on each piece, keeping right sides together as you sew. (Do as I say on this tutorial.  Again, because I wanted the neckline detail to show, I sewed the head on behind the body fabric.)

 7.  I hate pinning, so I sewed the tail, top and bottom fins onto one side of the fish.  You can pin and sew them all together if you'd like.  Next, sew the two pieces right sides together, leaving a space large enough for the fish to be turned right side out.

8. Next, make sure all the strings are cut off and the pieces are sewed completely.  I had to hand stitch a few areas that the sewing machine couldn't get through.

9.  Stuff your fish and add eyes and a mouth.  Then close him up and shape him!  

As you can see, the neckline is a little stiff, but I think he looks quite dapper in his argyle sweater!  This took about 2.5 hours to make, but it was a lot of fun seeing him come together and take on a personality.  Well, I'm off to bed.  Currently working on a blanket, finishing a book, and job searching...  Until next time, happy crafting!

You silly kittens, make those mittens!

In case you didn't already know, Pinterest and Youtube are my happy places.  When I need a good distraction or a great laugh, those are the two favorite websites.  If you want to visit my Pinterest page you can click HERE. 

I recently found some tutorials on Pinterest from Threadbangers.  Its a group of green sewing enthusiasts that enjoy remaking items from sweaters, jeans, etc.  Since they did an awesome job with the tuturial, I'll post a link below of the hat and mittens I made tonight.  Doesn't Bubba make a great hand model?

 

The link to the hat tutorial:

The link to the mittens (and beanie and ugly shawl):

Have fun crafting!

Why having a thankful heart is so dang hard

I've always been a positive person.  Always looked on the bright side of life.  I've seen the glass half full.  My yearbook includes things like, "Don't change being the sweet person you are" and "You've always been so nice.  Thank you for being my friend" and "Thank you for being you.  Don't ever change".  But I have changed.  I have been to hell and back.  I have had my name dragged through so much mud, you'd think it was a dirt road in the country now.  I've been told I'm worthless, an unfit wife, an unfit mother, a horrible person, a spawn of the devil and that just comes from one man.  I've been called a bitch, a whore, and many other names.  I've been dragged around, choked and slapped by a man.  I've been sexual abused.  I've been kicked out of a church, abandoned by my friends and some of my family based on lies and wrong assumptions dictated to the people of that church.  I have had to start over.  I have lost everything except my kids and even my babies I have to share with a man who I thought was a leader and ended up being a follower.

But I did start over...

And I am thankful for my parents who saw through the lies, who were also abandoned by the church and friends, but stood by me anyway, knowing the truth.  I am thankful that they stood up to that evil man, who told my dad that I should be put in a women's shelter instead of moving in with them, so that I could see how hard I would really have it.  For my dad, who is normally quiet and reserved...thank you for standing up to him, for saying that I would always have you and then standing by your word.

And so I began the long journey of starting over. I got a job with a law firm doing something I loved.  I paid off all those bills.  I bought a car.  I bought a house. Me, on my own.  I had my family.  I felt a peace with who I was and where I was going.  I had friends again.  My babies were starting school.  After a few tumultuous relationships where trust was non-existent, I met a guy - the hubs who, although our relationship and marriage happened quickly, slowly taught me to trust again. He stepped in and became a great father figure for the kids, standing up for me, teaching them that you protect your wife, your family, instead of letting them be led to slaughter and I'm thankful for that.

Meanwhile, trust began growing in other areas.  I trusted people at work, I trusted my friends, I trusted my family.   But time and time again, my fragile heart has been shattered in those areas.

I try to put my all into everything I do, always with good intentions.  I don't have ulterior motives because I'm just me - an open book.  I will talk to anyone about my struggles, my hurts, my pains, and my sins.  And I began to trust too easily again.

I got a new job at the court, 3 years ago, right before I met the hubs.  Somewhere between then and now, by hubs taught me to trust everyone again.  Which is why I am still hurting so much, which is why today, when I should be happy and thankful, I cannot stop crying and looking for a way to not have to go spend the day with people; why I would love to go back to bed and pretend this day didn't exist.  I trusted the people of the court.  Trust.  I was loyal.  No, there wasn't enough to keep me busy, but the work I had I did with the best of my ability.  I helped people.  I went above and beyond to make sure the people that came in were taken care of.  I jumped up for the postman, UPS and FedEx deliverers knowing they had a busy route and they could get going faster if I rushed to the counter or door.  I wanted to get more and more involved, but I was never given the opportunity.  Instead, I was laid-off.  And my supervisor wasn't even there.  She worked from home that day.  It didn't seem coincidental, since it wasn't her normal day to work from home, but who knows, maybe it was.  Maybe its just the fact that I don't have a reason to trust people anymore that causes that suspicion.

With tears streaming down my face, I was hovered over as I packed up my personal things and walked out like a shamed employee, not even allowed to say goodbye to the friends I had made.  Thank you team Obama.  As I sit here, wondering what to be thankful for, none of it can be materialistic, because without a job, who knows how much longer I'll be able to keep this house, my car.  I'm not trying to be dramatic, just realistic.  In the one month since it happened, I have applied to 39 jobs.  Out of those 39 jobs, 3 turned out to be spam and wanted personal information.  Two of them produced interviews.  I was offered one position on the spot, but had to turn it down since I would never be home when my kids were home.  I couldn't handle not seeing my babies, my joy.  The other job withdrew their ad, again, thanks to team Obama and the uncertainty they have caused in this country.  I should be thankful for the 39 jobs that have been posted.  It makes me so sad to see 600 jobs a week posted and yet we have that times 1000's of people still looking for jobs.  How do you even compete?  

How do you go to an interview feeling like a failure on the inside and project yourself in a positive, happy tone?  How do you continue to send out resume after resume with no word back?  My dad suggested I do follow up calls, which would have worked back in a good economy, but today, companies get so many resumes for their postings, they've gotten smart - they list it as company confidential.  There's not even contact information for what you are applying to, which throws off your cover letters too.  To Whom It May Concern, Dear Human Resource Director, Dear Sir or Madam...  How boring.  How unoriginal. How not me anymore.

I started this month on a challenge from my cousin to list all the things I'm thankful for.  I didn't want to do the obvious.  The 'my family', 'my dog', 'my friends'... but truthfully, I ran out.  After day 17, I could no longer think of specifics to be thankful for, so I stopped.  And have literally been sitting home since that day, trying to think of things I could be specific-to-me thankful for.  And I am still struggling.

So, I guess I'm thankful for life lessons.  I'm thankful for my husband who stays beside me even when I have become a fragment of the person he married.  I'm thankful for my faith in God knowing that as much as this sucks, it will eventually pass and I'll be stronger, and wiser, for it. I'm thankful for my dog who has literally become my best friend over the last month.  She has let me cry into her fur and scream and wail and hasn't told anyone.  She has given me more hugs and kisses than ever before and has just sat with me when I just needed some peace and quiet.  I'm thankful for my mom making the turkey today, because let's face it...those things are expensive and there's no way our budget could handle it.  I'm thankful for my friend Klara who gave me a box of wine for picking up her daughter once a week from the school just behind our house. That wine has been a godsend.  I'm thankful God gave me a creative spirit, so that I have been able to find activities to do while home alone instead of giving into the retail therapy I used to lean so heavily on.  And I am thankful for this house we have, however temporarily, because it's comfortable and I have learned to become a homebody and just do what needs to be done around here.  Today I looked out the window and thought, I'm thankful for the view.  

I'm still crying while writing this.  The hubs went outside to clean out the gutters while we wait for the kids to get dropped off for the holiday dinner parties.  He's not quite sure what to make of me today.  I haven't cried in front of him about this since the first week.    Truth is, I'm still so hurt, but I want to be strong and positive  for him.  It's a little daunting for me to lose control of my life like this...thankfully, God gave my husband a new job last week so he can carry the insurance now, which relieves the burden of needing to find another job that offers that.

I'll leave you with a picture of my view.  The sun is out.  The barn is crisp white with a hazy background.  Kind of like our God.  He's stands strong in the light with the future behind him, not quite able to make it out, but knowing he's beckoning us to our next calling.  Happy thanksgiving.

Star light, Star bright

I've always been cheap.  Like - really, REALLY cheap...but two weeks ago my job was eliminated and now I'm torturing my family with a new low.  I'm not just cheap. I'm a cheap-ass now.  Today's craftiness is brought to you by the woods, which is a 1/4 mile away, behind a church, because I didn't think the church would mind me going  in their woods and collecting dead twigs.  I might be wrong, but hey - better to ask for forgiveness than permission right?

I love to decorate with the outdoors.  I have stick and twigs all over the house, which will be convenient for when I can no longer pay the heating bill and need to start a fire on my kitchen's tile floor.

This project takes three different supplies:
       Scissors (or a knife or even your teeth, if they are strong enough)
       Twine (or yarn or whatever product you have at home to tie it together) I found twine at the dollar store              
                forever ago and its been waiting for a project like this
       Sticks (find them as straight as you can)

So this is what we're making:

  

Twig and twine stars!  And they are really easy to make, so no worries.  Just a rule of thumb for this project, the smaller you want your stars, the skinnier the sticks should be.

 Step 1: Break all your sticks into the same length.  You will need 5 pieces for each star.  The small stars are approximately 6-7" long.
Step 2: Tie two ends together, leaving enough room at the end so the sticks can be pulled apart a bit.  This starts the formation of the star and also keeps the twine in place.

Step 3: Add your next stick.  To keep the formation tight, one end of the stick should be on top tied together, and the other end should be on bottom tied together.

Step 4: Keep adding your sticks until all are tied together.  I left my first knot with extra twine so I could tie it on to something.  You can also just add twine after the star is made to hang it up.

That's it!  Four steps.  Awesome I know.  Now you can hand them anywhere!

A couple here:

 A few more there:

Normally, there's a giant painting above the couch that I made - very modern. (Doesn't fit in with Christmas.)  I took one of the sticks and tied some twine to it to hang it from the picture hooks, then hung the stars from that.  (I made those burlap stockings too!)

And then I made two really big stars to hand outside.  I don't like them there - it looks to cluttered, but they stay for now, because I wanted to write this blog.  I'll probably find a way to hook them to the garage, or just set one on the chair and bring the other inside to decorate with.  I'm also thinking about making some more small ones to decorate the tree with.  I'm enjoying a bare tree with just some ribbon and knitted 'popcorn' from my grandma for now. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 

How do I say this...

Do you ever have a moment where you want to share something that happened but it was just impossible to give it justice in words only?  I had that happen to me.  I'm going to try and tell you anyway, because it was such a strong impact to the entire family that you just couldn't ignore the underlying currents you felt.

First off, let me tell you...I am not a weeper.  I do not cry for little things.  My emotions are hidden under a heart of stone.  Yes, that sounds cold.  I have had so many heartaches, broken promises, and friends under false pretenses.  I have a hard time trusting, opening up to anyone, (including the hubs) that for me to have my emotions show through is DEVASTATING to me under any circumstance.

Don't get me wrong.  I think by now you know I'm far from being a fake person.  I don't put on the happy face when I'm sad, or pretend my kids are angels right after having a fight with them in the car.  Those emotions show through.  Its the crying and being affected by things that I keep hidden until I'm alone.  See?  Already doing a horrible job of explaining the background to this story!

Josh and I had talked all week about which church we would try out on Sunday.  For those of you who don't live around Michigan or don't know our back story, we moved back to an area in May that has a church on every corner.  Like a Rite Aid and Walgreen's corner war, churches are in abundance at every intersection in the area.  So the area has developed church-hopping, fit into a mold of a church I want community.  Churches try to win members by doing big carnivals or shock value guests like Ron Jeremy at Daybreak Church.  I kid you not.  This church is in my backyard.  We have been 'church hunting' for the last 4 months taking a break the last 4 weeks.  Seriously...its a chore going to a new church each week.  With my past church experience and seeing these people who shunned me so harshly and threw me to wolves baited with lies, it became a painful journey to walk into a church and see the look of judgment on their faces again.  I gave up.  Josh would keep saying, we need to find a church!  And I would make up excuses. (Luckily for me they were pretty easy the last month since I have been sick and on crutches from a hip fracture.)

We were laying in bed, still searching online for service times, trying to decide which church we'll try.  My heart wasn't in it at all, but I knew Josh really wanted to get to a service.  We decided on one close to the house and had 30 minutes for all 4 of us to get showers and out the door.  Somehow the family managed and we left about 3 minutes late.  Which is OK - since it took about 45 seconds to drive to this church.  We walked in through a long corridor, only to find the church packed with people standing in the back lobby, listening to the service.  With a 6 & 7 year old - standing for an hour service doesn't fly.  I turned to Josh after about 5 minutes and whispered, "Breakfast somewhere and a different church?"  I could have jumped up and down when he agreed.  We hustled the confused kids out the door. "why are we leaving?" "We're not going to church?"  For the drive to McDonald's 10 minutes away, I explain to them, we're going to try a different church.  We are going to church, just getting breakfast first...

I grabbed some coffee and back online I went. (What did we do without smart phones?!) There was a church that has been weighing on my mind.  I had been wanting to try it since before we moved, but for one reason or another we never got to it.  I had asked a few people about it with no one seeming to know much of it.  We researched it online awhile ago.  Google listed 2 different addresses for it so we didn't really even know where it was.  I turned to Josh and said, "Let's just go.  I've been thinking about it forever and if it sucks at least I can get it out of my head."

Now the things I had heard about it was that it was like Wellspring.  Again, for those of you who know me, Saying the name Wellspring around me is like saying Lord Voldemort among Harry Potter fans.  You don't mention it, you don't even think it.  Its like the filthiest swear word to come out of your mouth.  But I had been thinking...is it like Wellspring because of the music and the atmosphere or is it like Wellspring because the pastor is comparable to the devil?  I went in bracing myself, ready to jump at any little nuance that would remind me of the cult.  I was ready to judge the music, the people, the pastor, the temperature, the lame jokes pastors attempt.  I was ready to judge the way they did offering, the type of clothes people wore.  Needless to say...I really didn't want to find a church because then you have the obligation to go.  And I wasn't ready to get back into the Hudsonville church life.  I had become bitter against the church, seeing all church people as fake and attending only for their own image and what it did for them.

We found a section to sit in.  If you've ever tried new churches, you know this is an important step.  You can't sit too close to the front, or they'll see you as a lecher.   (What can I get out of this and can I get someone to notice me?)  You can't sit in the back because then you act the rebel. (I'm here, I want you to notice me but I don't want anyone to talk to me.  Just make eye contact then move on.)  So I chose the middle row, next to another person.  This makes you look friendly and confident. You are not scared to sit by someone already established, but you aren't looking for attention and hoping just to blend in.  Now when I say we chose somewhere in the middle - this room had AT MOST 10-12 rows, 2 columns and 6 chairs each.  I would say 120 people could fit in there.  There is really no hiding in a place that small.

The music began - just a three man group, the vocalist also being the keyboardist.  It was good music, we knew all the songs.  And they weren't performing.  Check mark in their favor.  I was holding my breath hoping the music guy wasn't also the pastor (a huge issue for me when pastor's won't hand over control to others), but then I remembered them being listed differently on the website and relaxed.  The room started out with a handful of people, maybe 30 at most, but by the time announcements came, the place was full.  They allowed  a time for members to share about their week and any little blessings that they experienced.  Each story was filled with emotion...nothing big or life changing, but people just being willing to open and share life with each other.  Genuine people.  Key words.  These people are your normal, everyday, no frills, run of the mill, I'm doing the best I can with what I've been given people.  We had a time of prayer and for a moment there I was expecting them to break into small groups to pray, which of course would have been a flag for me.  Josh doesn't pray out loud in group settings which would have left me in a group with him, 2 kids and whatever strangers were sitting around me.

Then the preaching began.  The preacher was just a regular dude.  He's on the Georgetown fire rescue. He looks like he could have a Boston/Italian accent.  Wore just a basic button-up and reminded me of some guy in the church who volunteered to step-up and lead Bible study.  A regular Joe.  His message was on 1 Peter and how Peter urges the church to have certain characteristics.  And then he pointed out how Peter was this emotional dude.  And I started thinking: He was for Jesus, then denied him...He was his friend then acted like he didn't know who he was and God still said he was going to build his church on this volatile guy, who without thinking grabbed a sword and cut some dude's ear off in the garden on the night they arrested Jesus.  One more thing Jesus had to come behind and fix for Peter.  It made me think, man, how many times has God had to clean up one of my messes?   The pastor's main point was on how we need to get the community to stop seeing 'church' and then relating that to the people who attend every Sunday and to start seeing 'Jesus' in the people.  Instead of looking at a person who comes across as hypocritical and saying Joe Blow slacker = church,  we need people to look at us and say Great Guy Gregg = Jesus.

As the service ended, Josh and I rounded up our posse, and headed for the door.  Just as Josh was walking out, the pastor called out to us.  Hey!  I don't know you and you don't know me, but I was preaching and felt an overwhelming urge to pray for blessing on you.  Key word. Blessing.  He specifically felt the need to pray for us to have a blessing.  So he said, I know it may seem weird.  This is new to me and probably new to you, but if you don't mind, I'd like to pray.

As he began to pray I listened to his words.  My cold heart refusing to have any emotion and just be polite and let him say his thing...until he said this: Lord, I feel there is something major coming in their lives this next week and I just want to pray a blessing over whatever it is.

TEARS.  Instant tears.  Remember - I don't cry people.  Even now, the memory of it brings tears to my eyes.  He finishes praying and before even looking at me he says, did that make sense?  SOBBING. I began to audibly sob.  Embarrassed, I try to gain control of my emotions until I look at Josh.  His eyes are wide because he has the same tears in his eyes.  The pastor asked us what was going on.

I told him my job is at risk.  I work for the government and our funding was cut to the point that at least two people will be cut from the court.  I have the lowest seniority and although I'm not trying to think to much ahead, it is always on my mind in grocery shopping (will this be the last time we can let the kids have juice boxes), and going out with friends (is this the last time I can order a soda?  Will we even be able to go out anymore?)

We spent a few more minutes talking with the pastor and headed out the door.  Josh and I were both blown away at what had just happened.  We were in shock that he felt compelled to pray with us.  That he acted on it.  That it seemed just as a surprise to him as it was to us that he needed to pray with us.  It shook me to my very core.  When they talk about the earthquake in the Bible at Jesus' death and how the temple veil split in two...this had to be how it felt.   The stone casing around my heart crumbled to a heap at my feet.

I am at total peace about whatever happens with my job.  I have put a few applications out, with no response yet, but its OK.  I'm excited to see where I'm heading next.  Will God keep me at court?  Will He put us through a time of testing and reliance?  Will He give me a new position somewhere? Will He put something new in my heart to help me take care of our family? Will Josh be offered a different job where I could work part time and do a better job caring for my family?  I am more excited than anxious about any of this.  Which is a completely new experience for me.

We are also excited to go back to this church again next week.  Johnny and Emma both sat through the service and their only complaint was that they don't like standing to sing.  But they were both singing...and both listening during the sermon.  Johnny could even tell me what it was about.  For a pastor to reach an entire family and have it stick...that's pretty big to me.  The fact that they LIKED being in the service with us and not going to Sunday school, that was pretty amazing too.

After our excitement we had a friend send us a message about negative things he had heard about the pastor.  I appreciated his concern, but the things he had told us I didn't pick up on at all.  I'm pretty wary and would have liked an opportunity to jump on something to keep us from finding a home church.  It keeps me from having to get up for something on Sundays.  But the truth is, we felt we found a home and we're looking forward to getting to know our new family.  I know I'll be looking for those things my friend said to see if there are any signs of them.  But to me...if he does show examples of that...it just proves to me he is even more genuine...a real guy trying to do God's will despite of his short-comings.