Race Day - 5, er, 6 Guarantees

Tomorrow is the big day - the Park2Park 1/2 marathon.  I'm sure most of my facebook friends are excited it  is coming to an end tomorrow so the whining bitch will shut up.  The other friends have me hidden on their timeline and don't have a clue what I'm up to.  As I think towards tomorrow, there are certain things that will happen.  I'm not a fortune-teller, but I have the same luck as all the other women in the family, where if it can happen, it will.  (Right, Aunt Sharie?! Right sis?!)

So...that being said, let me lay out a few ground rules for my day tomorrow:

1.  I WILL TWIST MY ANKLE

At some point during the race, I'll get lost in thought and not see that acorn laying on the ground.  I will step on it.  My foot will roll, and depending on whether that foot is attached to the hip that randomly gives out or my other one, I may or may not face plant.  I'll leave that up to fate. 

2.  I WILL CRY

Whether I actually make it to the end and have a teary - OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST RAN A 13 MILE RACE or a - OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID ALL THAT TRAINING AND STILL SUCK THIS MUCH, there will be tears.  Hopefully, they won't come after I step on that damn acorn. 

3. I WILL WALK

There is no way I can run an entire 13.1 miles.  I haven't run AT ALL in 2 weeks.  Not because I gave up, but because of my stupid shoes that the shoe store lady said, 'would cradle my foot and keep my ankle from rolling in'.  Great.  Awesome.  Except for the fact when you correct an issue like realignment - it actually realigns other areas and now my hip and knee no longer want to support my body weight. 

4.  I WILL LOOK AWFUL IN ALL PICTURES.

When I doing anything that involves physical exertion, my face takes on a shade of a vine-ripened tomato.  I will be blotchy, most likely my eyes will be bulging and I will be no where near a fitness model's running form. 

Yup - tongue out and everything.

5.  I WILL HAVE REGRET

Whether I regret having never ran a race since high school because I rock out on this one (not likely), or I regret having tried and failed so miserably (likely), I will regret.  It's just who I am.  I am looking forward to trying other races.  You know the ones where time doesn't matter, like the Warrior Dash, the Mud Run, the Color Run.  These races remind me of my drama career in high school.  They always gave me the parts with accents; you can't tell that you suck at singing because everyone sucks when they sing with an accent.  Everyone sucks when running a race with roadblocks.  

6.  THERE WILL BE A BLOG POST ON MY EXPERIENCE

You know I can't help it.  Maybe it will help me get through the race, thinking about what all I can blog about.  That's probably when I'll trip on that damn acorn.  

At any rate - at least my facebook friends only have a few days left of obsessive 1/2 marathon status updates.  Hang in there, folks.  It's almost over!