Race Day - 5, er, 6 Guarantees

Tomorrow is the big day - the Park2Park 1/2 marathon.  I'm sure most of my facebook friends are excited it  is coming to an end tomorrow so the whining bitch will shut up.  The other friends have me hidden on their timeline and don't have a clue what I'm up to.  As I think towards tomorrow, there are certain things that will happen.  I'm not a fortune-teller, but I have the same luck as all the other women in the family, where if it can happen, it will.  (Right, Aunt Sharie?! Right sis?!)

So...that being said, let me lay out a few ground rules for my day tomorrow:

1.  I WILL TWIST MY ANKLE

At some point during the race, I'll get lost in thought and not see that acorn laying on the ground.  I will step on it.  My foot will roll, and depending on whether that foot is attached to the hip that randomly gives out or my other one, I may or may not face plant.  I'll leave that up to fate. 

2.  I WILL CRY

Whether I actually make it to the end and have a teary - OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST RAN A 13 MILE RACE or a - OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID ALL THAT TRAINING AND STILL SUCK THIS MUCH, there will be tears.  Hopefully, they won't come after I step on that damn acorn. 

3. I WILL WALK

There is no way I can run an entire 13.1 miles.  I haven't run AT ALL in 2 weeks.  Not because I gave up, but because of my stupid shoes that the shoe store lady said, 'would cradle my foot and keep my ankle from rolling in'.  Great.  Awesome.  Except for the fact when you correct an issue like realignment - it actually realigns other areas and now my hip and knee no longer want to support my body weight. 

4.  I WILL LOOK AWFUL IN ALL PICTURES.

When I doing anything that involves physical exertion, my face takes on a shade of a vine-ripened tomato.  I will be blotchy, most likely my eyes will be bulging and I will be no where near a fitness model's running form. 

Yup - tongue out and everything.

5.  I WILL HAVE REGRET

Whether I regret having never ran a race since high school because I rock out on this one (not likely), or I regret having tried and failed so miserably (likely), I will regret.  It's just who I am.  I am looking forward to trying other races.  You know the ones where time doesn't matter, like the Warrior Dash, the Mud Run, the Color Run.  These races remind me of my drama career in high school.  They always gave me the parts with accents; you can't tell that you suck at singing because everyone sucks when they sing with an accent.  Everyone sucks when running a race with roadblocks.  

6.  THERE WILL BE A BLOG POST ON MY EXPERIENCE

You know I can't help it.  Maybe it will help me get through the race, thinking about what all I can blog about.  That's probably when I'll trip on that damn acorn.  

At any rate - at least my facebook friends only have a few days left of obsessive 1/2 marathon status updates.  Hang in there, folks.  It's almost over! 

ARTPRIZE 2012

Today is the first day of Artprize!  I've already been out and about on break looking at all the fabulous art, hearing the street musicians and concerts in the park.  This year there is a different feel to it.  The magic, whatever it is that Artprize brings to Grand Rapids, is back.  Last year seemed a little ho-hum, but this year promises to bring awesome surprises.

My favorite part of Artprize is seeing new ways people choose to display art.  For instance, this year there is a life size T-Rex, and penguins in the falls by the Ford Museum.  Just throwing penguins in there makes the fountain transform to Antarctica, when the year before with bears, it had become small rapids containing the bear's next meal, and from the year before that where the movement of water created a moving picture on a water wheel.

It leaves us wondering...what's to come this year?!

We have a high wire act strung across Monroe Center, 36 pieces in West Coast Coffee, an 8ft tall motorcycle  and a 13ft tall chopper!

The artists this year have stepped it up once again. There is art to be found everywhere downtown.  "True art critics" have been very stand-offish with Artprize, saying things like, "..." well, who actually cares what they say have to say?!  Beauty is still in the eye of the beholder and if Artprize is a hit, its because the stuffy New York Critics had NOTHING to do with it.

So if you are anywhere near Grand Rapids in the next 2 and a half weeks, come see what Artprize has to offer.  And if not, visit Artprize online

HERE!

Park2Park - Am I ready?

In two weeks I will be running the 1/2 Marathon, Park2Park.

...And I'm terrified.

I've done my training.  I've been following a 12 week training log.  There was a week-long period where I said screw it and didn't run at all, but I'm back on the path.  And...

I'm still terrified.

Of what?  Well...Of the multitude of things that could go wrong.

Like:
Tripping
Puking (which of course is followed by peeing my pants, thanks to kids)
Needing to poop with no bathroom in site
Passing out
Cramps
Getting bored
Crying (which also may be followed by peeing, if sobbing is involved)
Getting passed by a 90 year old woman
Getting hit by a car
Getting abducted into the woods, raped, and left to die with multiple stab wounds.

You know, the obvious.
And of course, these are just a given:

I'm trying to think positive.  I really am.  I try to boost my morale by telling myself things like:

But then I start thinking about the couch, and a book and an ice tea...and running sounds like the last thing I want to do.

And then I think, yeah, but people will enjoy being around me more if I sleep in.  

Tell that to my hip flexor that feels disconnected from my hip bone right now

Hmm... sure. Is this a trick question? Because I feel sorry that I'm sore. 

I know, I know!  You are sitting there yelling at me telling me to 

Suck it up!

                                   You're the one that signed up for it, stop whining 

    

                                                                                                                          So just quit.

Gasp!  Did you ACTUALLY just tell me to quit?  I never quit!  Quitting is for quitters.   

So I will do what any person facing the odds of actually not finishing does...go out and prove myself wrong.  I will finish this race if it kills me. (It might.  I've heard of people dropping dead after a race...granted those are normally real marathons and not these wimpy half-sies, but still... I'm just saying...)

So my motivation to keep training and finish?

My friends who are also running it. Lisa, Chad, Peggy, etc.  And Josh, who's running the Susan G. the same day, and Mike, who has been an inspiration coming back from injury to keeping the FAITH. 

True. Story.

And let's be honest.  I've already paid my registration fee, I'm getting a free shirt and I'm too Dutch to waste that money.  So I run because I've already paid for it. 

And really, I can only hope this is true: 

Except, maybe by the showers since you know, I look like a squished tomato baking in the sun for 3 days after I run. (And most likely smell like it as well)

Happy Trails!