As a parent, I am mourning not only the tragedy of 20 of my Emma's classmates, but the loss of innocence for the other 680 students in that school. I'm mourning for those parents who lost their babies and for the parents who have to help their children process this event; who have to sit up with their kids after nightmares, holding them and feeling so helpless, knowing they can't shield their child from this horror. There is nothing they can do to erase this memory for their kids.
It is impossible to think of anything else. We've had Columbine - which happened 12 years ago. That is the first school shooting I can remember. And I began to wonder, where are the kids that made it through that...are they doing okay? Are they able to make it? I found this article when I did a search on Columbine from CNN. And they feel exactly like I would feel.
I think of the things my parents tried to shield me from - the first gulf war, which I was obsessed with. I cut out every article about the war and kept them in a ziplock baggie. I remember sitting in my closet and reading them. But it still felt remote. I was 9 when that war started.
I think about the Davidian Branch in Waco, Texas that all burned to death. I was 11. That was 1993. I can remember so many details, people talking about the smell in the air, the strength of the fire and I remember my thoughts. A naive little girl who went to church who couldn't understand why someone would follow a guy like that. Now that I've been through a cult experience, I completely understand how easily it is to be blinded to truth.
I think about The Oklahoma City Bombing. I was 14. I can remember the pictures, the memorial set up on the chain link fence around the burned out remains of the building. I remember there was a daycare in that building and thinking how horrible that those children had to experience that.
Even though I was states away from New York on September 11, 2001, I still cringe when I hear a low flying plane.
I remember coming home at night wondering if anyone else had been killed during the 23 days of terror in DC in 2002. I was 21 and by know could have intelligent thoughts about the situation. But we all still walked around waiting, and wondering, apprehensively if copy cat shooters were going to come around.
These tragedies seem horrendous to us because we are civilized people. These things aren't supposed to happen. We have zero tolerance for bullying in school, we have gun laws and weapons control. We have strict lock down rules. I have complete faith in Emma and Johnny's teachers, knowing they would be the standout teachers protecting my children in this scenario. There isn't a school secure enough to keep what happened in Connecticut from happening.
We as a nation mourn together. A small handful actually dealing with this nightmare firsthand. And for those, I am speechless. There are no words of comfort that can do justice to what you are feeling. I cannot fathom the heartache you are experiencing. Each time I try, I cannot stop crying with you. And while each event stands out on its own, I feel selfish. I feel selfish for being so focused on just us. Not that our country and fellow Americans aren't important, but its bigger than us. What about the terror in Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, China, North Korea, South Korea, Egypt, Mexico, Somalia... the list goes on and on of countries, who's people live in fear every day. A gunman walking down the street is a daily occurrence. We don't have to wonder if a suicide bomber is riding on the bus next to us. We don't have to think about bombs being dropped on our city block at any time. Yes, our inner cities know the terror and while many our innocent victims, many are also informed bystanders. They might not be a part of the bad drug deal or gang wars, but they know their family and friends are and do nothing to remove themselves from the danger.
Its so easy to get caught up in the evil of this world and lose hope. But I want to focus on the bigger picture. Here are a few sources that make me think, we can do better. If we can inspire others to greatness, then we can build upon that greatness and become the people God meant for us to be in the beginning. Thank you, teachers. Thank you to those who are not afraid to stand up and be counted.
No comments:
Post a Comment